Just like the deceptively simple rules that came with caring for that furry baby Yoda thing in Gremlins, there are certain Hollywood tenets well worth adhering to.
The first, of course, is hire Tom Sizemore at your peril.
The second goes something like: sequels good, prequels bad.
And third is steer clear of fantasy.
So, it must be with some trepidation HBO rolls out its Game of Thrones prequel, House of the Dragon, on Monday considering it's breaking rules two and three (it could only be enhanced should it break No.1).
The initial season of HotD, streaming on Foxtel and BINGE, features 10 episodes, each costing a reported $20 million to make.
At first blush, this seems a lot, but relatively speaking, it's quite restrained.
To compare, each episode of the first season GoT is reported to have cost about $6 million. By the eighth and final season, that figure had risen to about $15 million per episode.
And for those of us still dealing with the abject disappointment of the plotless, lizard-heavy denouement of the (televised) George R. R. Martin franchise, it's lucky they were only chucking $15 million away on each episode (What happened in the finale? Some kind of party?).
Twenty million clams per episode is also a drop in the ocean considering Amazon is spending a reported $58 million on each episode of its new Tolkien fantasy series, The Lord of the Rings: The Rings of Power, streaming from next month.
This comes after all the hundreds of millions of dollars Jeff Bezos continues to plough into Amazon's other fantasy series, The Wheel of Time, which people must still be watching (almost certainly with the aid of chemical stimulation) because a third season has been commissioned.
Can't wait.
Meanwhile, it's worth remembering the final episode of GoT aired all the way back in May 2019.
A lot has happened since then (at least one biggish global issue comes to mind) and you have to wonder whether a few natty brooches and a bit of swordplay are going to cut it this time around?
Towards the end, our relationship with GoT resembled a young romance which had run its course. As one party tried its best to keep the magic alive with its jejune bells and whistles, the maturing other was yearning for something a little more sophisticated, more grown up (The Queen's Gambit, Succession, The White Lotus).
It should also be remembered, HotD is a prequel (set some 200 years before Jon Snow had everyone going bonkers for hipster beards) and as fickle consumers we have documented pop cultural problems with prequels.
Other than Butch and Sundance: The Early Days, it's really hard to think of a prequel that worked.
Sure, Prey, the Predator prequel on Disney+, is flat-out awesome, but it did take some six attempts and a quarter of a century to recapture the thrill of Arnie's 1987 original.
It's also taken the better part of two decades and some truly woeful sequels for audiences to even consider watching George Lucas' maligned Star Wars prequels with fresh eyes (they're still not great), so history is not on HBO's side.
But more problematic than the prequel issue, is the whole fantasy thing.
A little fantasy feels OK, too much is silly; precisely why audiences more familiar with courtroom dramas than orc-roaming dioramas were sucked in by GoT - we were seduced by the politics and dynastic power plays, not by the white walkers and post-natal shadow demon assassins.
Do a quick mental tally of your favourite Tom Cruise roles and it's a fair bet his turn as "Jack in the Green" in 1985's Legend isn't among them.
Boy, he sure gave it his all, though, didn't he?
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Similarly, it was fantasy which derailed the career of Duncan Jones, David Bowie's talented film-making son responsible for the spare 2009 sci-fi masterpiece Moon.
Jones, a card-carrying fan of the Warcraft video games, poured his heart and soul into the 2016 film version - stylistically spectacular, but for the casual (i.e. adult) observer, dull as dishwater.
Only time will tell whether we're ready to have dragons back in our lives but perhaps a little fantasy will be welcome given the many crappy facts at play in our real world at the moment.
What are they paying for petrol in Westeros these days?
