One of the big business battles at the moment is between "lowest prices are just the beginning" Bunnings, and "home improvement" Masters.
The Woolworths-backed international group thought it could knock over the much-loved local mob with their old fashioned slogan of lowest prices.
But Masters is not achieving success.
On the other hand, the achiever of the week for business was not really a business at all – it's been the Minister for Small Business, Bruce Billson.
"Who's he?" Louise asks.
Well, he's a master of politics and the smiling face that you saw behind the PM at many news conferences. He's also the one who delivered the big budget winner.
"And he talks like us," Charlie says.
Indeed. In the lead-up to budget night he described the small business package as being "delicious and delightful".
And when pressed by a panel of expert journos, he said: "There's only a few more sleeps before all is revealed."
Well, that's like talking to the kids just before Christmas and like a good Christmas, it worked and looks like it will kick start the economy.
Our Bruce is an enigma. He's almost unknown across the country but he's been re-elected five times for his seat of Dunkley.
He's tertiary educated but he went to what we might describe as a tech college: RMIT. No highfalutin university for Bruce.
In politics he's had many minor roles before ascending to Minister for Small Business. He's been parliamentary secretary for foreign affairs, veterans affairs, and he has toured the world with visits as far afield as Kenya, Hungary, France and Vietnam to name a few. And in 2004, he led a parliamentary delegation to Papua New Guinea, New Caledonia, New Zealand and Vanuatu.
But his big moment finally came this year and I have to admit that he's delivered.
In an interview last Sunday with the veteran journalist Barrie Cassidy, Bruce Billson came out smelling of roses. Enigmatic Bruce got really tricky. He answered every question. Now that's going to throw any interviewer who's getting ready for the follow-up. And not only did he answer every question fully, he started to answer the next question before it was asked. I've never seen it happen before.
Along the way, he put some economic heavyweights like Saul Eslake in their place by calling the earnest analyst an "outrider", whatever that means, but suggesting he's out of touch.
Clearly Billson is doing a great job. He's simplifying the message and people believe him, including all those tradies and their families who are so important for Bunnings and Masters.
And of course if big business Bunnings has its way it will see Masters off to the Minister's portfolio.
Bunnings is brilliant, but I reckon the secret to their success is that they've cornered the sausage sizzle market.
As we know, it all fires up on Saturday morning and Bunnings has a six-month waiting list of local clubs and charities which can't wait to snag a bit of cash. Charlie says it's good business. You can make up to $2000 in a day but only if you know what you are doing.
Here are the tips.
Give confidence to the customers by wearing plastics gloves; insert a serviette between the slices; slice the bread thin, you get more that way; get good quality sausages – not exploding fat ones and put all the sauces to the side, otherwise you'll get a real bottle neck. "I can't believe you said that," Louise says.
And, put the onions on early, pre-cut of course, so the aroma envelops the car park and the next suburb.
But most importantly, if you want a great result, you need to roster happy people you can trust.
I know what you're thinking. Saturday morning in the electorate of Dunkley, there he is, the Minister for Small Business, Bruce Billson, with his apron on, right at home on the barbie at the sausage sizzle.
Another thought about Billson – with all that talk earlier of replacing the PM with Bishop, Hockey even Morrison, none of them seem to be making any real ground. Well don't overlook our Bruce. Just remember Steven Bradbury.
